Is Suicide Selfish?

Is Suicide Selfish?

Do you think suicide is considered a selfish act? I don’t, however my opinion is bias because I have suffered from depression in the past and have attempted suicide. That being said, I still believe with my current healthy state of mind, my attempts to end my life were anything but selfish and here’s why:

Depression is an uncontrollable disease. Many people think the victims chose to end their own life, take matters into their own hands, control their fate but those people couldn’t be more wrong. The victims don’t make that decision… No the thing that makes the decision is the disease that has brainwashed them into hating their lives, convincing them the most rational option to ending their pain is ending their life.

It is easy for a rational person to say that suicide is selfish. I get where they are coming from, I really do. Those that leave us are leaving their loved ones to deal with the pain of them being gone. They think those who are depressed have given up and are tired of trying, which may be true but unless you have experienced severe depression that made you contemplate living, you can never understand the victim’s viewpoint. I wish I could try to explain it, however it is nearly impossible to convey that perspective. There are no words, there are no emotions because when you’re in that mindset, you feel nothing: you are empty. And let me tell you, I’d rather be devastated, bawling, feeling something than to feel empty ever again.

When people tell me they think suicide is selfish, I always ask them isn’t it selfish of us not just asking, but expecting them to live with their pain just to spare our own? Medicine, therapy, and the support of our family and friends may temporarily alleviate the hardships. However it is important rational people understand there is no escaping depression, it is the shadow that is constantly following you.

Depression is a disease, like cancer. When an individual successfully takes their own life, it is another way in which the disease wins. Unfortunately we lose loved ones to cancer everyday, yet when they pass away, it isn’t viewed as selfish… Because it isn’t! It is just another way the disease wins. A disease claiming it’s victim through suicide isn’t the conventional way most people believe in but that doesn’t make it any less true. Depression is a disease that makes you feel like your only option is giving up. This disease makes you hate everything so much after perpetually feeling empty that you just want to be happy again. You crave happiness, but it doesn’t matter what you say or what you do, you just can’t find it. Depression wins when it successfully convinces its sufferer that something irrational does in fact seem sensible and that is that death is the only viable answer.

Having depression is like drowning. You feel like there is no room to breathe and when you try to swim to the surface for air you end up getting pulled further and further down. And the worst part about depression is you see everyone up above, able to swim, able to breathe, able to survive but they don’t see you fighting the seemingly impossible. So to say suicide is selfish… Well frankly it’s ignorant. I will never agree with one’s decision to end their own life, however I will always understand it.

19 Reasons Why I Hate Depression

19 Reasons Why I Hate Depression

I hate you……

  1. I hate you because you made me different, and not in the good way.
  2. I hate you because smiling and laughing became a chore.
  3. I hate you because you made me hate the sport I love more than anything.
  4. I hate you because you made me pull away from my friends.
  5. I hate you because you made me pull away from my family.
  6. I hate you because you made me hate everything and anything that brought me happiness.
  7. I hate you because you gave me an excuse to sleep all day.
  8. I hate you because you kept me awake all night.
  9. I hate you because you never let my mind stop thinking and feeling and hating and hurting.
  10. I hate you because you made me cut myself.
  11. I hate you because you made me actually feel like I was alone.
  12. I hate you because you had me thinking I was the problem, not the disease eating away at every good thought, memory, and relationship I had.
  13. I hate you because you made me hate myself.
  14. I hate you because you made me try to kill myself.
  15. I hate you because you still have me living in fear that I will fall victim to your games again.
  16. I hate you because you loved to see me cry.
  17. I hate you because for a time, I didn’t hate you; you were my excuse to do the unthinkable.
  18. I hate you because you had me convinced it was a bad idea to tell anyone what I was dealing with.
  19. I hate you because you turned good, happy people into one of your little puppets not only controlling their lives, but also destroying them.
  20. I appreciate you because you made me a strong, confident fighter who after years of suffering is able to enjoy the smallest joys in life and can assertively say, she would kick your ass if you tried to destroy her life again.